Pierce Happenings: Home at Last...and so it begins [ Month 1 ]

[March 28th 2013]

Our First night home was nice, until the evening hit. She just cried and cried. She didn't want to be put down at all. She would only sleep on us once we got her calmed down, but just basically cried a lot. We had lost the hospital pacifier [which she wanted]. We had other pacifiers, but she didn't want anything to do with them. I started crying [big surprise...right] because I couldn't calm her down. We realized that she hadn't went number 2 since around 1:30 pm [It was around midnight].

I asked Alan to call the Mercy 24 Hour Nurses number. He got on the phone and was explaining and talking to them because I was a mess. She wanted to talk to me to calm me down. She told me that it is normal for babies [especially at the beginning] to be backed up or gassy. They are getting adjusted to the outside world. She said, just stay calm and she will be a little more calm. That night we had to take 1 to 2 hour sleeping shifts. One person would be sitting in the recliner with her while the other person got some sleep [back and forth the whole night].

I remember around the evening or so the next day [March 29th] my mother in law was over. She came to cook us dinner. Meatloaf, mashed potatoes, and green beans. As she was leaving, she leaned into Evelyn to give her a kiss [she was swinging in the swing], and she said, "Evelyn smells poopy " We kind of thought that it was just gas, because she still hadn't gone. After she left, I got her out and decided to check her. She had [what I call] a poop-plosion. I am not ashamed to admit this, but I did the poop dance.

After that, she was a much better happy camper.

After that, she slept in the pack and play bassinet in the corner of our room. I love it because it does music and vibration. She woke up every two hours. One night I jumped up out of a dead sleep because of her crying....and than I hunched over with pain. I got up so fast without realizing it or having control of my action that it hurt where the incision was. I didn't tear it open or anything, but I had to of pulled something. I had a hard time sleeping even when she was sleeping. I became this crazy mom with the ....what if's? What if she stopped breathing? What if I couldn't hear her at night? What if she is too hot or too cold? ....and the list goes on. I started falling asleep anywhere during the day. Couch, recliner, chair, bed, etc. She has this weird fixation with rubbing her hands all over her face, so we had to put socks on her hands to prevent from scratching her face.

Her first outing was on Easter Sunday. We didn't know whether we were going. It depended how she was and the lack of sleep. As well as the fact that I couldn't do anything for at least the first two weeks. Drive, go up and down the stairs too often, lift heavy items, vacuum, etc.

[March 26th, 2013: Her on Easter Sunday in a dress I put her in...1 week old]

[This is what my night stand looked like on a regular basis throughout the night the first month]

I loved how she smiled and some giggling in her sleep, and only in her sleep. She loved being swaddled. You wouldn't sleep any other way except if you were laying on someone. She didn't really care for the pacifier too much, but she mainly took it when she were tired.

That first month was hard because I had sever baby blues. Not many people know, but I am not afraid to share. Just in case someone else experiences it. I was to a point emotionally depressed. I know a lot of it was hormonal. I would have panic attacks and cry thinking something was going to happen to her. I would constantly make sure she was breathing, even at night. Which meant I didn't sleep that well at all. I would have nightmares of all kinds of stuff. I would just cry and cry for no reason. I didn't have a lot of joy, and sometimes I thought about it just being Alan and I, but I know that wasn't me fully thinking that. It got so bad, Alan asked me if I needed to talk to someone professional. I ended up being fine after the first month. It started dissipating.

Part of this had to do with the fact that I was stressing over breastfeeding. I was completely dedicated to do it. I was just having so many problems with it and her. She didn't cooperate very well. She wasn't really getting anything....or just becoming frustrated too fast. After two weeks, I finally told myself that it just wasn't going to work. It was even harder when everyone was asking how it was going. It only made me feel worse. Everyone else was able to do it. Nothing seemed to be going my way. Her birth didn't go my way, and now her not being able to do the other thing I wanted to do. So, I cried over feeling like a failure. Liz the failure. Yep, that was me. It took until week 4 to realize that at least my daughter was finally getting some food on a good schedule. Alan was a trooper the whole time. He tried to help me 100%. With getting her latched, using the nipple shield (which is a really hard thing to use by the way), this other contraption they gave me, and helping me with the pump. I think after a month is when I started to enjoy her more because I would give her a bottle and we would have so much time to play, read, and have tummy time with her instead of focusing on trying to feed her. So, I have a breast pump that I only used for two weeks stored away in the closet....set aside for the next baby. Hoping I have better luck.

It took a month for me to get over my depression. I am doing a lot better. There are still days where I think about it, but than I shrug it off and put it to the back of my mind. I know God shows me everyday that I am not in control of my life. What happens, happens.

We did have her try a couple of formulas. She was on Enfamil for a while, than we put her on Similac. Which seemed to do nicely. Than we noticed that she was having gas and stomach issues. I asked our doctor, and he gave us some samples formula of Similac: Fussy & Gas as well as Similac: Spit Up. We didn't know if it was just gas or she had Acid Reflux. He told us to try the gas one for 10 days to see how she did. In the end, she did a lot better. We don't believe she has had trouble with acid reflux at all. Which I hear can be pretty horrible. So, that it what she takes.

We also found out she is allergic to the Huggies brand of diapers. The only time she got a rash on her bottom (yes, she has had only one rash so far). Our pediatrician (who is a pretty awesome guy....Thanks Morgan!) gave us a home made recipe for diaper cream. He said it worked better than the store bought ones. She is fine with pampers, so that it the diapers she wears. She also got her first cold with in the first month. It lasted for about a week. I had to work on her nose really hard.

At the end of the first month she started sleeping better and we decided to finally put her in her own crib in her nursery. I just hook up the baby monitor, and we are fine. I was iffy about it at that moment, but we have all slept better.

[This is the first time Evelyn was in the swing. She fell asleep, and looked so small in it]

[She slept A LOT. She slept EVERYWHERE]

[But her favorite place to sleep is....in someone's arms]

Grandma Linda Pierce Grandma Linda Croy (Seaman)

[She loves her grandma's and her grandma's loves her]

She also had a lot of firsts. One being her first grocery store trip to Fairway and first trip or two to the mall. We went mall walking since I wasn't allowed to workout. First visit to see her grandma's.